The end of Christopher’s Journey

One final post on Christopher’s Journey.

We left Christopher last night about 8pm, after we had wrapped him up, tucked him in and kissed him goodnight.

Greg and I went to bed about 11pm and got a call about 12.15am, to let us know that Christopher had another turn and that he was taken up to PICU. To be honest, we thought that Christopher had done this sort of thing before, so we were not overly concerned or aware that it may be very serious.

He had been ventilated and when we arrived about 30 minutes later, they were still working on him. His O2 saturations were averaging about 20% and he was very blue. The doctors said to us that they believed that there was a blood clot in the BT shunt (inserted in Melbourne at 4 weeks old) in his heart. They gave him some medication to try and break up the clot, but it did not seem to work. His 02 sats then fell to about 9%. They gave him a dose of adrenalin, but this also didn’t work.

As the medications didn’t work and because he probably would of suffered terrible brain damage, we felt that Christopher was telling us that he didn’t have it in him to fight any more. Greg and I told the Doctors to stop treatment and let him go.

The doctors gave him some Morphine, so he wasn’t in any pain and Christopher died in my arms at about 3am with Greg by our side.

Christopher looked so very peaceful, no tapes, no tubes, just the gorgeous little boy that I brought into the world with such love and held him tight as he departed it, with that very same love.

Paul, Christopher’s fantastic paediatrician was close by and was crying when he gave us his apologies.

We had the opportunity to have some quiet time, just the three of us, in a lovely little room, where we got to say our private goodbyes to Christopher and be a family for one last time.

We took him back to his cot and laid him out and tucked him back in one last time. We gathered all his toys that were in his cot and then went to collect the rest of his belongings from Rose Ward. I think every single nurse down there was crying. Christopher had so much impact on so many peoples lives.

Its feels so very wrong to have your child go before you, but I feel more complete as a person, to have been able to be the mother to the most precious, inspiring, brave and beautiful angel, I have ever had the pleasure to meet, know and love.

25 Comments »

  1. Lilika said,

    October 11th, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    Sending huge hugs your way. My prayers and thoughts are with you 🙁

  2. Ally said,

    October 11th, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    Ness and Greg my thoughts are with you and your family. Christopher has been a huge part of so many lives, he touched us all.
    RIP little man. Your gorgeous smile will remain with us always.
    xoxo

  3. Jackie said,

    October 11th, 2007 at 9:17 pm

    There are no words Ness.

    My thoughts are with you and Greg, and everyone else that had the pleasure of being a part of Christopher’s short life.

    May his beautiful little soul rest in peace. Forever in our hearts, never ever forgotten.

  4. Dana said,

    October 11th, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    I feel privileged to have shared Christopher’s amazing but short journey. He will live forever in our hearts. Huge hugs to you and Greg and may the light of Christopher’s life make your journey over the next few months a little bit easier.

    RIP little man xo

  5. The Gray Monk said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 6:47 am

    A candle will burn for your son in Tewkesbury Abbey and our prayers are with you.

  6. Susan said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 7:56 am

    Ness, thankyou for sharing Christophers special journey with us, he is a very speical boy and will forever be in our hearts. My thought are with you and Greg at the terribly sad time.

    xx

  7. Jodi said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 10:10 am

    I am at a loss for words.

    Constantly thinking of you both at this very sad time Ness & Greg. Thankyou for letting us be a part of his life, he will never be forgotten.

    My heart is with you.

    xx Jodi

  8. Jass said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 11:12 am

    My you rest in peace gorgeous boy.. You will be in our hearts and memories forever.

    Much love to you Ness and Greg

  9. Kirsten (George) said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 11:13 am

    Thank you so much for sharing Christophers amazing journey with us Ness. It was a privilege to have ‘known’ him and he has certainly made an impact on so many lives in the short time he was with you/us.

    His next journey has just begun, please don’t think of this as his end, it is just the gateway to a new beginning and a journey free of pain.

    He was such a handsome, smiley little man. You and Greg are amazing people to go through what you have and I admire your strength and courage.

    Please take care of yourselves. Christopher was the luckiest boy in the world to have been born to such wonderful people.

    RIP Christopher, we love you and will miss you.

  10. carla said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    thankyou for sharing you wonderful son and his story with us.
    you must be one proud mummy to have such a brave and beautiful son. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

    may you rest in peace little christopher

  11. Sky said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    Ness and Greg i want to thankyou for sharing Christopher’s journey with me. He certainly made a impact on my life and touched my heart, as did he to many others.

    You are truly inspirational, strong, caring, loving, admiring and courageous people!!

    Just letting you know that you are in my thoughts and prays constantly. May you find the strength to get through this difficult time ((hugs)).

    Sky xx

  12. Shelly said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Thinking of you at this time Ness & Greg,

    Your little man has begun a journey as an angel, what a gorgeous little boy he is, please know that we are here for you.

    Shelly

  13. Kel said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    RIP Christopher. Such a brave little fighter who has touched everyones heart. Ness and Greg, please take care of yourselves. We are all in awe of your as parents and your strength and courage.

    Kel

  14. Jo said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 4:03 pm

    Thank you for sharing Christophers journey with us through this journal. My thoughts are with the both of you at this time. I know you will find the strength you need in each other to get through this.

    Take care of each other
    xxx Jo.

  15. Maria said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    Dear Cess and Greg
    Our deepest sympathy. Our thoughts and payers are with you. May Christopher rest in peace.
    Maria & David

  16. Saskia said,

    October 12th, 2007 at 6:05 pm

    Although I do not know you in person, I feel I now do. I want to send all my thoughts and prayers to you at this very hard time. Christopher was such and still is a very brave little man, he fought every day. He touched my heart also. Hugs to you and your husband at his very hard time.
    Hugs and blessing to you both.

  17. Julia said,

    October 13th, 2007 at 8:34 am

    Ness and Greg,

    We are so very sorry to hear of the passing of dear Christopher.
    He was a gorgeous boy and he will not be forgotten by all who had the chance to know him.
    There are so many people thinking of you right now. Please know that we are here for you too.

    Words cannot describe just how heartbroken we are for your loss.

    Love Julia, Barak and Austin xxx

  18. marcus said,

    October 13th, 2007 at 9:14 am

    my deepest prayers and sympathies for you and your families. my friends little one recently passed on. may the two of them meet in the place that is so much better than here. yet, their stories have touched many. and provided great gifts and joy in sorrow. m

  19. Pia said,

    October 13th, 2007 at 8:46 pm

    Ness, I don’t know if you remember me from P+ but I wanted to let you kow how very sorry I am to read of your loss. What a gorgoues little man, and words can’t express the pain you must be feeling right now. I am shedding some of the many tears that must have been shed already, must mean he is so special.
    Much love to you and Greg, you’re in my thoughts xx

  20. Brett Scholz said,

    October 14th, 2007 at 11:56 am

    Greg and Vanessa, well done for giving Christopher a wonderful life filled with hugs and love and support. I bet he would have been glad to have such loving parents and even though I only met him once I could tell he was such a happy and content baby. You guys did so well. xx

  21. Shelley said,

    October 29th, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I was blessed to have gotten to know your beautiful boy during my placement in Rose ward. xo

  22. Jess said,

    April 23rd, 2008 at 6:44 am

    I live in Canada and I stumbled upon your blog about Christopher’s journey today when I was looking for pictures of pregnant bellies (I’m 9 weeks along with my first) and yours came up. I read your entire pregnancy journal from the beginning and was so sad to hear that Christopher’s life was cut so short. From what I have just read, you seem like amazing parents and Chris was obviously a little fighter! I am so sorry that Chris is no longer with you, but wanted to let you know how inspiring I found his journey. All the best to your family.

  23. A Touched Stranger said,

    November 14th, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    Wow, I am very sorry for your loss Ness & Greg. I live in canada and was searching for a articles on Christopher Columbus when i stumbled accross this reading. I am sure the Christopher is in a great place now and is watching down upon you as your guardian angel. May god rest his soul and heal your wounds.

  24. Carly and Sarah said,

    January 30th, 2009 at 1:13 am

    Thank you so much for shring your sweet Christopher’s journey with us.

    Wishing you love and peace

    Carly and Sarah

  25. Amy said,

    June 4th, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    my deepest prayers and sympathies for you and your families. my friends little one recently passed on. may the two of them meet in the place that is so much better than here. yet, their stories have touched many. and provided great gifts and joy in sorrow. m

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